I saw T after missing two weeks. When I talked about the parts needing stuff from her, she said it's not about her. It's about what they missed from my parents. She be kept saying it's not about anger towards her, but the parts are reacting to the past because she wasn't there in my past. I said the part is angry with her.
She said she is doing this out of love for me, that she wants me to get better, and I'm the only one there for me 24 hrs. a day. I heard her but inside I was dying.
She said when I leave, don't send me an angry email. Try to go on with my life and leave therapy for the session. I asked if I can email a non angry email, and she said to write about the present, things in my life, not about her.
I'm crying in my car! She held my hand at the end while she told me she is doing this for me. I didn't even get a chance to ask anything about her. What happened to our relationship? I know she's right but I can't just stop thinking about her so easily! What should I do? I told her maybe I should quit and she said I could, but it wouldn't be such a good idea, in her opinion.
She says she is NOT rejecting me or my parts, and wanted me to understand that. She's trying to get me to be there for them, not her. She's been trying for 7 years. I know I decided I want to heal, and adult agrees it's not about her. I know it's about my life. But I feel terrible now. Hugs would be nice for those child parts.
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