Hi there,
I have a question - just wondered about your 'take' on it. Its 'somewhat' related to above ...

I have NOT spoken with xhusband since the above. We would txt sometimes as he was busy & he always replied to my msgs. These were not necessarily personal.

Just about the time when everything was coming to an end for us, I had msg to him some general queries. I could tell that he received the msgs I left. For the first time, he chose to ignore (now that life is good for him).

Sometime after I received (general) msgs from him. These were requests for just 'little' but important things. Maybe a doc at home that he needed to be put out. I am not spiteful so I facilitated.

However, I am not into this on/off again ... aka 'when in the mood response system,' especially when it is 1-directional & in his favour. So although the last was important, I did what I had to but decided on no further communication.
Apart from that, with the select game playing, I just didn't feel like having much to do with him. I need the space (not the on-off thing). I need to focus on my 'next-steps' without distractions.

I knew my lack of response would upset him (but I'm no child!) This is a control thing. They dish out what they won't accept for themselves. Anyway ...
A friend was telling me that I 'should' speak with him (guess she thinks its better for a child's growing brains to not have a mommy like this! And ordinarily, I would agree. I explained that it would be only if it has to do with children, or related advice, issues or activities.

You see infidelity is one thing, BUT some marriages can heal - with help + time +effort on the part of both parties.

My x is now lying a LOT more about me & it's impactful. Since my situation (less networks, prospects, experience, $$) is more vulnerable than his, he's getting through at times. Im rushing, busy and tired. I'm really financially burdened in the meantime. I'm doing everything and it shows.

Was I wrong to not speak with him? (I really dont want to have anything to do with him right now) I could 'pardon' a lot of things BUT he doesn't get to publicly slander me, then 'connect' to ease his conscience in private ... .And then get upset because I'm not responding! Don't think so.

Good marriages, other (!) friendships or relationships are about trust, honesty. TRUST & HONESTY. When someone lies like that, the more they do, the easier it gets.

Im am not typically a talker either, so it's 'talk-heavy' or the one side, his side - & just getting out of control out there.

Do you think I am being immature to not respond? Don't know if my emotions are running my logic here.