I didn't email T until I got home from my trip. I wrote about my family and caught her up on things. I didn't even have time to talk about any of that today. I know it's my choice what to talk about, but she didn't even ask me anything about what I had written.

That's the hard part for me. I still treat her like a friend. I want to share everything going on in my life. I do have other friends but it could be because my mother was the only one interested in all the details. I feel sad that T is not really interested except when I tell her. She said in an email that I asked good questions and we would talk about then in the session, but the hour goes by too fast!

She told me I'm an adult and my parts don't have to run the show anymore. If the child wants hugs, I can get them from other people, if I want to be held, I can get a massage or something like that, or actively seek out a partner. She gave me the blanket in the session again, to soothe me, but I was hot and it didn't help.

She did hug me, as usual. She's doing her job, I know. But it's so, so painful for me. She's not leaving, she said. She's there. So why doesn't that make me feel any better?