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Originally Posted by JoBo
Rainbow, I'm so sorry you are hurting. I do know how you are feeling & it 'feels' cruel & unfair. I know that you are feeling rejected & I know how much you must be hurting. The relationship is still there. It's just your T is doing the 'good parent' thing. She's supporting you & is kinda doing the 'tough love' thing. She is still there for you & go back next week & tell her just how hurt you are feeling. Something good WILL come out of this. It WILL make you stronger. Hang in there Hun.
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JoBo, thank you. I decided on my own, thanks to the attachment article that was posted in someone's thread, that I have to heal, and stop trying to get what I can't get from my T. I've made this decision before but I never stick to it. Or maybe my T knows I am ready now. Even though I want to heal, those child parts fight for what they want.
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Originally Posted by monalisasmile
 oh Rainbow, this sounds so hard and unnecessary. I can see why your t wants you to look after yourself, we all have to learn that however hard it may be. I am wondering about your t and her counter transference, I wonder how she is usually with clients who depend on her and need her, maybe she unconsciously pushes you away. I don't know if this makes sense to you but it's just what I think is happening. I can really understand how the child parts are upset and maybe a little heartbroken, truth is too painful sometimes  |
Thanks, mona. I don't think my T is pushing me away. She is just trying to help me grow up and help those child parts too.Yes, it's very painful even though I know it's not about T.
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I know it's hard. But it's time for the child parts to grow up. You had 7 years! Most don't get that. You're going through growing pains. Like my T tells me: it's okay to cry. It's okay to miss whatever it is you're missing. Therapy is about growth and progress. If you stay stuck, your T isn't doing her job.
I'm going through a little bit of growing pains myself. Seeing my T only once every 4 weeks is so hard. I've been crying, missing her, having panic attacks. But she's still there. She's doing her job.
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I admire you. When my last T and I went to monthly, I couldn't handle it. I quit and found my current T so I could repeat my pattern even though I stated otherwise. It might be harder because of those 7 years.
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Originally Posted by DodgersMom
*hugs to you*
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Thank you.
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Originally Posted by SoupDragon
I'm sorry it is hurting for you so much right now. Not sure if this analogy is helpful?.But sometimes I think of it as being without a leg. I can feel really sad about it and benefit from leaning on someone to help me walk and comfort me. But real freedom comes from learning to use crutches. I know the leg is still missing and can still feel sad about it, but I can also use those crutches to be independent and free.
Big hugs to you.
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Thank you, Soup. I will try to think of it that way.