you describe a tightening cycle... time to get out of its spin..

step away from it all, sit down on a chair, and shake it off for even one minute.. then practice doing that more often for longer time periods... just shaking it all off...

seeing a therapist or psydoc?

you've seen good, and not so good in your experiences? which of those give you pleasant and energizing charge?

surround yourself with more of that...