((Tracy))

I live a miserable life in a miserable body in a miserable home, and it's only going to get worse for me. I'm homebound with an incurable and terminal disease, and I'm going blind. I spend virtually all of my time alone in a dark room. What gets me through the day are my memories.

I can think back to the good times, close my eyes and feel "good" again.

I can think back on times when I faced my challenges in life and won clean.

I can think back on times when I've lost my challenges, but I can reflect on what I learned from that experience.

I can think back on what I've lost out on in life, but I know now I didn't need it.

I can think back on the people I've lost over the years, but I'm grateful to have known them..

All of this helps to relieve my pain and pressure. It takes me away from this miserable life, if only for a short while.

Maybe the next time you feel compelled to SI, you can try to find the courage to give yourself a good, clean victorious memory. You may need it one day.