Nothing you have shared about yourself sounds troubling to me, and I would guess you are a lot (or at least a bit) like me in having never anticipated or expected the ends of relationships and friendships we had wittingly or otherwise just assumed would continue indefinitely. It can hurt when other people change or move along and we do not understand why, but none of that automatically means anything was our fault. Although I might have little actual comfort to offer, I do grieve with you over your losses and I encourage you to move along to London when it is time and with some hope and a smile while continuing to be yourself.