I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I have had and understand those feelings. I see that this is your 2nd post so welcome. You might make the move to your new job and everything clears up. If it doesn't, I encourage you to see a therapist to help support you as you process your losses and a psychiatrist as well to see if medication would provide relief. I want to lend my support and let you know I'm here if you need to talk. I hope you start feeling better soon and that the start of your new job goes well. Best wishes.