I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I've been to 10-12 therapists, no joke, before I found a therapist who is worth her weight in gold. She really helps me a great deal. I encourage you to keep looking for one who can help you. I want to lend my support. I'm here if you need to talk. A good t and pdoc plus support here on PC can be the foundation for a support system. There's also a crisis line you can turn to besides the resources here is to type 741 741 and type hello. You can text with them. Best wishes.