I understand the haunting pain of being there when someone passes on. I saw my mother pass as well. It's a thing that rocks you to your core and I don't think anyone can understand it unless they have experienced it. I am sorry you have gone through it.

*hugs*

For me it was a bit different - because I was being "shielded" by way of being forced to remain on the side of the building so I could not see her .. but after too much time had passed, I could no longer stand it n ran out to be by her side - and saw her best friend performing CPR on her.. I swear she came to for a brief minute and told me "I am sorry, I have to go now. I love you." but nobody else saw or heard that .. but at that moment I knew my mom was gone. I tried to give my sister hope bc I could tell she needed to believe there was still hope, but I knew the truth. That was the start of when I became alone.

I blamed myself for her death so figured I deserved the isolation. So there were a lot of things surrounding her death I had to work through - still are a few. So I understand the difficulty. If you ever need to talk - I will listen.
❤