Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
It almost sounds like what you are struggling with is less early attachment and more a failure of detachment. The fundamental aloneness of adulthood is terrifying. Some people deal with that terror by being enmeshed in other relationships, whether parent/child or romantic or what have you . You are never alone because you are melded wuth that other person....but you are never developing that independent authentic self either....now you have no one to enmesh with except your T. I could be way off base but the fact that you depended so much kn your mom and now want to depend so much on your T makes me think that. Being overly enmeshed or involved with others is a very effective way of numbing our own pain and fear
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Thanks, Bay. No, I don't think you're off base at all. I think it's both. My Ts have always acknowledged that I didn't become independent and that separation from my Mom didn't happen right. I did go away to college and get married so I wasn't totally enmeshed. I loved college!
This week T even mentioned that it could be that I got too much from my mother. I had trouble separating from her when I started kindergarten.
I didn't start therapy until my mother died but I didn't talk about her death for about 4 months. My first T was shocked when I casually brought up the fact!
I think these last 2 years without my H have been the first time I've been independent. Yes, there was pain and fear but I think I've done well.