I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't cry or even get real mad at my husband. I feel like crying but the wound is so raw it still has not reached the surface yet. He's hurt me deeply by his words of not loving me anymore like he used to, but no emotion can be felt. I don't know if anyone can relate to me but I am hurting real bad inside but my outward appearance is like nothing is wrong. Am I in denial or something? I feel depressed like crazy, but even that doesn't reflect on the outside. It's like my shield of armour is up and nothing or anyone is getting to me. I feel inside like my world is ending and I am just watching it pass me by. I can't stop the world from spinning out of control that is my control and I have my hands tied and can't do anything about it. The torure of just watching my life outside of my body and knowing I have no control of my feelings or emotions. I hope I don't crash soon into the despairs of the next episode where I only want to hide under my blanket from the world so they can't see the pain and anguish inside of me. It's funny but I didn't realize someone can also isolate from PC like I have been doing. Not participating and not giving anything in return, but now that I'm in pain to think of my own needs and want help. I'm sorry for these feelings and being such a horrible person of support around here. I want to change that if you all still want me.