I've lived with my mom since my husband died (2 years). I can't afford to live on my own on just one income. NJ is insanely expensive. A two bedroom apartment in this area is easily at least $1500 a month, unless I want to live in the unsafe city. In south jersey it's a little cheaper, $1100 a month, but I'd have to move an hour or two away from all my family. That's not worth it to me.
My mom and I are more like roommates. She usually doesn't bother me about what I'm doing in the house. I keep the downstairs clean, I buy my own food, I cook dinner for me and my son, I cook my son's food. we split costs of things like toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags. I take out the trash and wash all the dishes. I just defer to her when big things go wrong, such as when the main sewer line was clogged. I don't pay for any of that. We did however buy new couches together. I also pay for the cable/internet. She pays electric water sewer.
Thankfully she doesn't charge me rent because I pay toward running the house. When I lived with my mother in law she charged us rent, about $550 a month. But she also cooked dinner for everyone every night and we used electric, cable, etc.
I like living with my mom. I think I would be extraordinarily lonely on my own. Sometimes I feel like a loser for living with my mom at 30 but honestly it doesn't matter what everyone thinks. It's nice having someone to help out when I'm sick, physically or mentally. If I didn't live here I'd be SOL when it came to taking care of my son if I were sick. She also watches him in the morning for me so I can get to work early, saving me money on child care costs. Otherwise he would be in before care AND after care.
He likes living here too. She doesn't usually intrude on my parenting (although last night she told me to toughen up and make him eat healthier - this from the woman that fed me McDonald's 4x a week growing up!). I know she thinks things but she keeps them to herself.
I'd rather be here living comfortably and able to afford emergencies like car repair and medical bills than out on my own barely scraping by.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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