I also struggle with becoming extremely dry - even if I'm aroused. Sometimes a lubricant like astroglide helps. But even that drys eventually. I'm not sure what causes this and have seen two different doctors who seem perplexed. I have an appointment with another GYN next week and hope to get some answers and suggestions myself. I also will get very red and swollen - very uncomfortable and painful even to sit down. And yet, there is no infection. At least none that has showed up on any tests done so far. I am lucky to have a warm and understanding husband who is patient and understanding. Maybe you could talk with your partner and explain how it is for you and that the two of you may need to get creative in how you are intimate with each other. Good luck.