I don't believe any person is "the one," intended by fate or Heaven to be with us. I think a person only becomes "the one," if you make that person "the one." It's really all your own decision. A person becomes "the one," when - and if - you designate him as such. If your family's approval is paramount to you, then it's also necessary that they sanction a person as "the one." Otherwise, you won't feel secure because you derive the major share of your sense of security from them.

After over 3 years, you know what this man is about. Did you move in with him as a kind of "experiment." If you're finding yourself real miserable because you are not real close to your family, then maybe the "experiment" failed. Whether it's worth losing him to be able to stay close to home is something only you can decide.

Usually a couple selects where they live for a number of reasons, like affordability of housing and employment opportunities. Usually a couple sees what a location has to offer, before selecting or rejecting that location as a place to live. It sounds very odd to have a couple disputing what is the right distance awsy from family to be - with one saying that it must not be more than x miles and the other saying it should be at least y miles. I think that's putting the cart before the horse. Like you two are thinking: "Let's first select the right number of miles away to be. Then we can make a list of communities at that radius away." That's a very odd way to proceed.