Quote:
Originally Posted by Erebos
Having been raised in a 'stay together for the sake of the kids ' family I can categorically say it was an utter disaster.
My father was bitter and snide, my mother mentally broken and me and my brother grew up with very disturbed versions of what relationships look like.
He ended up a registered sex offender.
I have been a drug addict for 24 of my 38 years.
There was no abuse to us as children, but the hatred that permitted our daily lives we what we considered the norm.
Neither of us new what a real relationship looked like, what normal non sexualized contact was.
No one hugged, sat together watching movies.
My father worked hard and came across as the stand up guy with the crazy, emotional wreck if a wife.
No one knew how disgusting he was behind closed doors, his bitterness was poison.
My mother was convinced, brainwashed that he was right, that she was a useless mother.
I am not saying this is anything like your home, but hate permeates everything. From your to be of voice to your body language.
My brother learnt women were to be used and were not entitled to refuse.
I learnt men were hateful aggressive and would control you if you have them the chance.
These lessons have left a bitter trail of destruction throughout our lives.
Ask yourself what your children will gain if and lose if you stay.
I will add we were very financially stable,and oddly we were quite encouraged as we grew up and made our life choices but that didn't save us in the end.
I have no doubt many will disagree with me, and they are obviously entitled too.
I offer no advice or words of wisdom. Only a perspective to consider from someone who lived through it.
All the best in whatever you decide.
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I can relate to this. My parents stayed together and their dysfunction passed down to them was passed on to my brother and I.
About brother:
He will never marry nor reproduce. Instead of that, he is a valuable, dedicated employee, a home owner, he never misses work nor a bill. He does have anxiety and other related issues. Wont step foot in hospitals. Is gerrmaphobic. Therapy or medicine to help him cope looks to him as an "easy way out for the weak" yet he gets drunk every night. He did time for 5 dui's and hiring prostitutes (get drunk enough he forgot about the germs I suppose). While our parents meant well, i think my Brothers biggest problem is because of the fact he was forced to be right handed and he was most definitely born to be left handed .
As for me, I just wanted a Dad that would play once in a while besides always making us do work. Instead of that I was my neurotic mom's counselor and my brothers "whipping post." As a result, I always seem to favor being medicated (prescription optional). In relationships, i put up with way too much but stand firm thinking theyll "straighten out" only to find they are trying their best to ruin me while i support them. Two ex wives and a kid with each. They were once enemies but now bff's in their plite to take my life down the tubes. Unfortunately, the system enabling them.
As a young boy, I wished them to go their separate ways. The were generally good people though, but together, toxic.
While others have endured way more,
I would not want to repeat my childhood.
Now 45, I still believe everyone would have be fitted from them "calling it quits." They were too stubborn and proud to reveal to the world they made a mistake.