My mail order pharmacy has royally screwed up one my meds. I've been waiting for it for more than a week and have been told that it will actually be here by wed. At the same time, my pdoc is making changes to my meds. My t has started EMDR (which I highly recommend) which has been working but has greatly stirred up trauma in my life. I feel so suicidal as a result.

My husband is back to his assholish ways sometimes. Last night, when he wanted to get out of my daughter having a sleep over (he thought the house was to messy, which was of course my fault) and we had the following conversation:

Him: I will just tell them that the pdoc has screwed up your meds and you are a mess right now.

Me: I don't want them to know that.

Him: Don't worry, his wife is bat-**** crazy too.

He was kidding at the time but come on. Then when he came home he was pissed about several things and I told him that his snide comment had hurt my feelings. He said "yeah, but if you are going to hide behind your mental illness you have to accept the fact that you're crazy."

How hurtful! He apologized and felt badly but still.

I have to ask him to take over my meds because my thoughts, especially at night, are very dangerous but in the past he has failed at this request. We shall see. I feel so overwhelmed.