I am very sorry for your pain.

I strongly encourage you to check all resources.

It sounds like you do need care via a pdoc, med assistance, in the least.
It's possible you were misdiagnosed in the past. A pdoc could help you with diagnoses, with scripts and maybe with med samples.

When mental illness gets out of control, meds are usually needed to help.

Are you in the U. S.?

What type of a "Bipolar episode" are you experiencing?

Knowing whether or not you are in the U.S. may help people in suggesting possible resources.


WC