Sometimes i start thinking maybe my "hypomania" is my natural state, and on & off depression is my only issue.

maybe it's because I wish the mania was me?
or maybe it actually is me, and everyone has it wrong?

most of the time though, i've accepted my diagnosis. but sometimes the doubt creeps in and i feel really doubtful & confused...

I've also haven't experienced a significant upswing since I went on meds 3 years ago. depression is the only thing that kinda flares up, since then.

i've always experienced both the ups and downs more intensely on antidepressants and stimulants. & bipolar meds are the only thing that has ever turned me into someone relatively normal. but i just don't have fun anymore either...

can anyone... relate?