Sounds very painful.
Have you ever explored why you've felt this way your whole life?
Do you see a therapist? If not, would you consider working with one?
Do you take any meds for depression? If not, would you consider taking meds?
Do you have friends/family to talk with about stressful things in life?

What helps you to feel more interested in life?

I hope you'll take Amanda's post to heart.

I also hope you'll show yourself a lot of compassion, as you are in tremendous pain.


WC