You said you were working on your issues with. Therapist. What happened to that? You even admitteded in earlier posts on this thread that you did have those problems. So what have you done to work out your issues so they aren't part of your marriage.

Your behavior is your responsibility no matter how provoked one feels. You are the one who has to be under control of your OWN behavior. You know your wife is probably saying the same thing about you "his behaviors (anger, controlling) provoke me to act the I'm acting". It's a 2 way street but we are each responsible for driving our own behavior in spite of what others do.....especially in marriage.

Like I said, you BOTH have a lot of work to do on yourselves individually let alone in the marriage to make the relationship functional.