Well I believe it was frist or second month I had feelings
for my T. It all started when I thought he was homosexual.
I thought oh well he is homosexual so...Im straight so there is no point in liking this man.
But I was wrong, I built up the courage to ask is he gay? Because he said I could ask anything so I said that. Well he didn't like that comment. He wasn't angry but more hurt I would assume. He said he is married. I thought yo myself "no way, a guy like him that be kind and emotional, sensitive is not gay! So not all straight men are tough and lumber jack men"?
Well I had to check there Facebook and saw they were telling the turth.
I never told him I looked at his Facebook page until much, much later on. So I shock myself that I looked at his page and that I had feelings. I try to suppressed by watching music videos or movies. But it got worse, worse eventually after 6 months I told him.
He seemed quite uncomfortable about it. Though my T is a student.
I told him It feels like I love you and then he said "You don't know me" which was really hurtful.
Yes I don't know him, and my T is suppose to be a blank screen to whatever the client projects from the past to the T.
But I had to say that to my T after he said "You don't know me" to protect myself from embrassment. I only know him what he shows in the room. So I guess iy be fait enough to say I love him who he shows to me as much as he can in the therapy room.
Since I told him the feelings of butterflies in my stomach or blushing has gone. I guess its mote fondness of him and I just want to hug him to say thank you for not giving up on my like the other T.
I acknowledge that my transference was him of my dad and my grandad and my first crush. That there is some aspects of him that reminds me of my long term finacee.