Susan I suffere with disassiative amnesia too, didn't even know til I started therapy a few months ago....I was abused sometimes under hypnosis, sometimes not, he messed with my mind so much and I cant remember lots of things, I too feel detached and struggle so much with depression and anxiety.....Sometimes it's like life is playing itself out and I'm just watching myself go through the motions.....you explain yourself much better than me...

I dont think I've ever been truly happy, I wear a mask a lot....put on this show of being bubbly to people irl.....underneath I hurt like hell and feel like it's getting worse....you say you've been i therapy for 17 years????I'm 43 and only just started proper intensive therapy, I hope you find good support here and I'm sure you can be a help to many too...
take care, a friend, Jinnyann xxxxx