I guess I just got it in my head that if the Pdoc and T spoke on the phone regarding my treatment that it would somehow 'prove' they really cared about me. Thing is, I really like these guys--they're just super nice and their care and concern for me is expressed at every session. So I guess the other night when I posted, I was just having a little 4 yr. old tantrum that my 'parents' didn't care about me or understand--otherwise they would have talked to each other on the phone. And now when they do talk, it's not because they were concerned about me and my issues, it's because I had a hissyfit.

On my phone message to my therapist expressing how pissed I was, I told him to just cancel my appointment for next week, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see him after the holidays either.

I've been seeing this therapist for four years--I've always liked him. I've never been mad at him. Now that anger has cooled to hurt feelings. He hasn't responded to my phone message. So now I'm reading into that, that his lack of response shows he doesn't care.

I'm in a quandry now because I 'need' these guys, but I'm hurt so I don't want to talk to them. I feel like I painted myself into a corner. Here I am a grown adult and I've just had this little tantrum on the phone with my therapist--now I just feel like a loser.