I'm so sorry you're going through this Mr. Stranger.

I thought of something that might be useful to you. I have a program (workbook and CDs) on overcoming social anxiety. It has a lot of CBT stuff in it though, that can alternatively be used for depression too. Anyway, in the program, Dr. Richards says to go neutral with your statements to yourself before you go positive, because your brain won't believe or agree with the positive statement, and it will just cause stress and dissonance. So instead of saying "I am a person worthy of love," as an example, just open yourself up to the possibility of maybe. "Maybe I am worthy of love too." It's just a thought I had for you because I saw you said you can't speak positively to yourself.

Don't be hard on yourself. I know it's hard though.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

((((Mr. Stranger))))