That's the biggest thing I need. Just a hug, and to cuddle. Just simply to feel that comfort. But as a male asking for that it's expected that I want sex... and it comes across odd when I say sex is not expected.

For for other reasons, that in time you all will learn that happened in my adult life, it is difficult to make friends that really want to get close.

So I am hoping to find some solace here. And learn ways to cope. I'm ok with everything. Truly. I understand it effects me today and that this triggers that and I can put it all together.

Stupid psychological training in prison. Figure it out yet?

I just want to learn to cope. And manage. I'm highly successful in business. And people know my past. And I'm ok.

But in my personal life I'm a mess.