Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky
I feel very alone. I want to have something to do with my days and people to be around. I don't know WHY this is so hard to have. I have many interests, and I know I could volunteer. I think sometimes my problem is I imagine what it will be like before i do it, and it always feels boring, or too overwhelming, and then don't want to do it, and don't do it, based on how I'm feeling. A lot of the time, I just don't feel like it. Today I had a volunteer interview at a hospital. I cancelled because I felt like I don't really want to volunteer in a hospital, and the directions she gave me to find the volunteer office felt confusing, and it's raining, and i didn't want to deal. But now I'm home, alone, and very sad. If someone could help or be supportive, I'd appreciate it. I feel like absolute *****. I need to figure out a plan. I need to figure out what to do.
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I completely relate to this so much. Sometimes putting yourself out there to get rid of the loneliness causes a lot of pain in itself. The pain that comes with the effort to book appointments/volunteering opportunities/classes to get yourself out there can be nerve-wracking, I find at least, especially when there's internal judgment and a lot of pressure. Know that you and many others out there, including myself, are conflicted with the same fear of not knowing how to rid oneself of loneliness while having the fear of putting oneself out there. I think the loneliest people have a bond that we're all unaware of that ties all of us together on earth. Remember that bond sometimes. Sending hugs.
