Dear Defyinggravity-

When my MI is flaring up it causes me to ruminate about the silliest things and with all the hundreds of articles about narcissism it is easy for me to identify traits that could apply to both H and I and your "dependency" may just be love. Of course, I am not an expert on what is really going on with you.

If he still drinks a 12 pack of beer every weekend--I really do think that is beyond moderate--and will eventually impact him in a negative way. Some people stop excessive drinking when they are older and experience negative impacts while others can't/don't. The effects on people who do not eventually stop can get ugly so naturally this is a trait of his that makes you "crazy". You are just in a difficult situation--you love someone with a terrible flaw that could literally kill him someday. You can't make him stop (only he can) so you are forced to watch someone you love headed toward a possible trainwreck. You are an innocent bystander and your tendency to ruminate makes it harder for you to not think about the possible disaster that lies ahead.