Not sure this is the right place for this. Since about 2004 I have been taking the train to work. Since that time there was a conductor who was always on my line. Nuff said, I developed a crush. I mean, it isn't a crush so much... as I desperately seem to want him to converse with me like what for me.. is reality. The fact that I have seen him literally every day for almost 15 years. He is married (not that I have Facebook stalked him). I am just kind of desperately curious to talk with him. He is the only conductor I have ever felt like this about but also, I feel like I have never had a conductor who is always there... always.

A few years ago, I realized this "crush" was not helpful. I am not even sure that he doesn't have some sort of autism spectrum thing happening. He absolutely just gets the tickets. And never waivers while 99% of the others do. One of the things I admired but makes it so he doesn't really converse or anything. I was in the market for a new home anyway and was happy to move to a new train line. Ahhh.

But now, he has shown up on my new train line and it is frustrating me. It isn't totally unusual for that to happen as they can move them around.

And also, another weird thing I have noticed. It does really feel like god or someone is pushing us together. It isn't him, I am sure of that. But how can it be that if I am sitting in the front car, he is there. If I move to the back car, he is there. If I go in on a weekend and randomly pick a train he is on it in my car. I know he works a lot but it seems odd that I can so easily run into him. And also it seems odd and disappointing that he offers zero acceptance of the fact that he could not possibly recognize me.

I know some might say, talk to him. But I have and he gives me zero. He is polite, but, he gives me and every other passenger nothing.