I'm bad at starting conversations with people. I just don't have anything to say. Sometimes I have trouble keeping a conversation going. Once things get going I can sometimes think of something to say but people don't come up and talk to me cause I look depressed and people don't wanna talk to someone who's in a bad mood. People would ask me how I am but I wouldn't know what to say cause I didn't know how I was feeling at the moment. I wasn't good or bad I was just thinking. So usually I would just say I don't know. Sometimes how I was feeling would just be complicated so I wouldn't know what to say and I would just say I don't know. Sometimes it would be something I don't want to talk about and I wouldn't say anything. So people wouldn't want to talk to me cause I wouldn't give them much if they asked how I was. They would complain I don't talk if they try to talk to me cause I would talk about how I feel alone. I'm not good at asking other people questions. I just can't think of anything to say. I would try to ask people something like what's going on but it didn't help and I don't get any credit for trying. I would see other people talk to other people about their day and stuff but no one would do that with me which would be much better than asking how I am cause I don't know what to say to that question. But I wouldn't always have anything to say even if people started talking to me. So I'm a pretty boring and uninteresting person which is why other people don't like me that much. They would rather talk to other people. Sometimes if people ask me a question I'll need to put a lot of thoght into it to answer them so I can't just answer right away. If I talk to people I just talk about a certain topic rather than asking questions. For a long time I never thought of asking about other people which would probably help me talk with them but I just never thought about it so people probably think I don't care when I do care. But I'm just not good at thinking of things to say or ask and when I do it doesn't work but it seems to work for other people. Another thing is when my friends would go do something I wouldn't get invited to go with so I feel like they didn't care about me. I mean they haven't known me as long as other people so I'm not gonna be invited cause I'm not their best friend. People have to choose favorites so I'm not really cared about. Sucks when you have to move away from old friends cause then I have to make new friends and there gonna like the people that they've known longer more than they like me. Sometimes I wish I never moved from my old friends and wasted my time here that I'll never get back. People just didn't care about me cause if I tried to talk about my problems they didn't really try to understand and just got mad at me. But if I saw them talking to each other it wasn't like that. So I have a lot of disappointment cause I've been lonely all these years. I feel like I can't move on with life because I feel like I've missed out on connecting with other people and now everyone has gone their seperate ways. I wanted to connect more with certain people and be friends with certain people but I just couldn't talk to them for multiple reasons. I'm not just talking about the people who were uncaring. They pissed me off so screw them. I dont really want to be thier friends anymore. I'm talking about different people who I like that I wanted to connect with. If I don't connect with someone in the place I moved to with the people I liked I'll feel like I just wasted my life moving here. I'll feel like I've wasted time for not accomplishing what I really wanted to accomplish. Just missed out on things I really wanted to do and then I won't be able to move on with my life. I know it seems like I'm talking really well on here but this took me like three hours to write down and then after that I copied it on here. It just takes a while for me to get my thoughts together to start talking about something sometimes.