Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredandconfused
I think that was not a nice thing for your mother to say, and ultimately inaccurate. I believe you do have the ability to take care of yourself, but that you would benefit greatly from a therapist or even a trusted mentor to help guide you.
It's never too late to start making changes.
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It was the truth though. I can't do things like normal people. I need help but I don't think that anybody can help me at this point.
I can't obtain or hold down any type of job to save my life. I can't function well in college.
I tried and tried to study this weekend. I spent 12 hours yesterday reading and writing, however, I still can't understand what I'm doing wrong. Afterwards, I just gave up and watched anime the rest of the day and most of the night.
I struggle just to find employment and when I do find a job, a lack of transportation because I have nobody to help me get places and I never learned how to drive holds me back from making it to work.
I can't even find a girlfriend because I'm too much of a socially awkward geek to be able to function around women. Even if I did hit it on with somebody, I am insecure about my body because I have a lot of scars from self harm across my body back when I used to bite chunks of flesh out of my body and I have stretch marks because I used to be overweight but lost over 80 pounds not because I worked hard on weight loss but because I couldn't afford food for almost a year and lived off ramen and sandwiches.
I can't do anything that an average adult does. I am useless. I hate myself for this reason.
The only time that I'm happy is when I'm gaming or watching anime. That is all that I have a desire to do at this point.
I want the easy way out like always. I wish somebody would kill me because even suicide takes work and I'm too much of a coward to go through with anything anyways.