It sounds like your wife is testing things and is sort of dating you at this point. A hardened heart is "you really severely affected my self esteem and ability to trust". Often, when a person pushes others away it's their effort to gain a sense of control back and to protect their own feelings. People will behave in different ways depending on how low their self esteem is and if they feel respected and appreciated instead of just controlled and expected to play a role.

It's important to keep listening and also pay attention to how much alcohol your wife is consuming. Just observe, don't say anything at this point.