Today was the day my abuser was born. He is my half brother. Still to this day I am angry with him. But yet I have this empathetic reasoning for him too because of the rough childhood he had. His mother died 4 hrs after she gave birth to him . So with everyone telling him he didnt have to listen to the other parent or grandparent sisters or brothers or teaches... it was difficult for him to know right from wrong. He had no security. NO soft place to fall. I cant blame him for being as messed up as he was. Yet.. why did it have to be taken out on me? I just dont get it.

Last night I had panic attacks.. just thinking about today. I didnt know how I would deal with it .. yet again. Today I woke up. I am choosing to have a good day. Doing things that I want to do.

So I made a zuchini pie lol. ALL FOR ME!! I have T today. So I am sure that will come up in the discussion. And I am going to work on my disability stuff more. And not sure yet.. But I am gonna make something good for supper that I LIKE that includes CHICKEN! My husband hates chicken. Today.. selfish or not.. is MY DAY. Nothing else.