I could have written this...

Do you still live at home?

I live half the country away, but see my mom a lot. It's expected of me

She loves this martyrdom complex she has.....(heavy sigh).

You're not messed up. If you still live with her, you will have your own life, soon. And yes, it will be difficult to (literally) stand up and go home when she bugs you. She may "get it" or she may be oblivious and just feel more self-pity.

The thing is, there comes a time when you have to shift your priorities and put YOURSELF above her. It's a tough thing to do and you might not feel good about doing it. But that's what you have to do for your own mental well-being.

AND.....on the bright side, when (if) you have your own children, you will have learned a valuable lesson from her and will not repeat history.