Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesmom
I could have written this...
Do you still live at home?
I live half the country away, but see my mom a lot. It's expected of me 
She loves this martyrdom complex she has.....(heavy sigh).
You're not messed up. If you still live with her, you will have your own life, soon. And yes, it will be difficult to (literally) stand up and go home when she bugs you. She may "get it" or she may be oblivious and just feel more self-pity.
The thing is, there comes a time when you have to shift your priorities and put YOURSELF above her. It's a tough thing to do and you might not feel good about doing it. But that's what you have to do for your own mental well-being.
AND.....on the bright side, when (if) you have your own children, you will have learned a valuable lesson from her and will not repeat history. |
Thanks. I live in another country, far from her. Thing is that I cannot wrap my head around this because she's never told me what to do, who to be. It's like, I can do whatever I want and she says she supports me. She just wants me to be happy and to not make the mistakes she made (whichever those would be, she only said this once )..But I feel like I'm tied to her with an invisible rope, I cannot have my own life. She's always been full of secrets, both my parents, as I said, we don't talk about emotions, emotions are shameful...So it feels impossible for me to talk to her honestly. But all this pretending is more than I can take anymore...
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense...