Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
Your mother gave you a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a very unhelpful one at that. I am sorry you got that message when you were too young to defend yourself from it and know any better.
Lots of what you write about your challenges are true for many of us. I can't drive either, it's one of the reasons I am fit in my mid 40s, I walk & cycle most places if I don't get the bus (again, involves walking to stations). There are drawbacks sure, but there have definitely been huge spin offs to my health. Not to say YOU shouldn't endeavour to learn to drive mind you, and that is something you may well achieve yet.
It reads like you are really overwhelmed at the moment, maybe try breaking your challenges down into small chunks. You may not have achieved independent living yet, but you are taking steps towards that with volunteering and study.
By the way 12 hours study is quite a lot, most people would find their brain switch off after that length of time, particularly if you are new to study. Finding out how you best absorb and learn will be key, experiment with smaller chunks of study, see what works for you.
Above all, no she wasn't right, she was just being really hard on you (possibly because of her own frustrations in life), I am sorry that is how she spoke to you.
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I am overwhelmed and also lonely. It's been hard for me to cope with going to college and trying to find a job and doing all of these other things when it has always been a struggle for me to do things on my own.
Don't judge me for this but I was so desperate for somebody to talk to today that I signed up for a tutoring session with a tutor at my college to work on writing skills and she was a young attractive female and I tried to hit on her and ask her out on a date. Since I am writing an essay about technology and how it influences people's life I was telling her a lot about my past early on like how I had trouble making friends at a young age and was introverted and had a messed up family life so I used computer games and learned how to build computers to escape from my loneliness just to garner sympathy from her without wasting my tutoring time to make her feel bad for me so she would care about me.
I'm having to face just how lonely I am and I traditionally used video games and anime to escape from my pain but I can't do that as often because of school so I have to face how hurt and unhappy that I am and it's hard.
I'm pathetic I know but so be it.