Sorry...I missed the part about going to visit her.

Maybe she's overcompensating when she does see you? I know that my mom does. And she wants to know all my business, not because of concern, but because she's a busybody.

I keep my own business to myself. Including my health issues. She tells everybody everything.

I have adult children, so I understand the pain when they fly out of the nest, but it has to happen.

I guess I see both sides, but (from the mom's side) it's only right to NOT let your kids know how much you miss them....you shouldn't give them that guilt. And from the daughter's side, don't let her stuff become your stuff. You're doing well and (logically) have nothing to feel guilty about. Easier said than done, I know.

How to get your mom to stop mothering you? Wish I had a good answer for you. Being firm with her is the only suggestion I have, but (honestly) it's a daily battle for me, too.