as far as leaning too much on friends...
people need other people. If you think about it that's the fundamental reason society exists. If we didn't need others, why the roads the cars. The movies are mostly about relationships.
I kind of feel weird responding to this in a way because I haven't opened up to anyone much at all. But, by not opening up to others I'm also pushing them away. Don't be afraid of losing your friend. I know it might be a strain for that friend, but putting myself in those shoes, I would not want you to walk away and suffer on your own.

PLEASE don't feel guilty about needing others... and especially don't feel bad about coming here. I do care how you're doing. Thing is, it's good to just tell the story sometimes. Because (at least for me) in the general day I hide so much of anything I feel... I'm sure it's the same for you. It feels so good to have people who care beside you, people who MIGHT be able to understand what you're going through. I'm here for you.... we're here for you.
Don't be embarrassed or I'll have to start being embarrassed too ^_^

and yes... waiting for something you know that will come... is often worse than when it actually comes. That's exactly why you need people though. Try your best to stop the cycle *and I know you are* but... also reach out. Talk to your friend. TRY to go out and do something... keep posting here... just keep trying I know that doesn't help at all but just don't give up, we're all rooting for you

*and agrees with above post