I am overwhelmed and also lonely. It's been hard for me to cope with going to college and trying to find a job and doing all of these other things when it has always been a struggle for me to do things on my own.

Don't judge me for this but I was so desperate for somebody to talk to today that I signed up for a tutoring session with a tutor at my college to work on writing skills and she was a young attractive female and I tried to hit on her and ask her out on a date. Since I am writing an essay about technology and how it influences people's life I was telling her a lot about my past early on like how I had trouble making friends at a young age and was introverted and had a messed up family life so I used computer games and learned how to build computers to escape from my loneliness just to garner sympathy from her without wasting my tutoring time to make her feel bad for me so she would care about me.

I'm having to face just how lonely I am and I traditionally used video games and anime to escape from my pain but I can't do that as often because of school so I have to face how hurt and unhappy that I am and it's hard.

I'm pathetic I know but so be it.