First thing I have to respond to is the line I quoted above. my first impulse is to say "whaat?!" You do realize that her earning your trust back is in no way on you and there is NOTHING you can do to change that. the result will be of you being in denial by forcing yourself to forget or ignore her transgressions. Trust broken is not easily repaired and on top of this, especially with one that wants to shirk their responsibilities for being the one to gain the trust of the betrayed one. If she is unwilling, you should not just write off what happened. History will repeat itself, I would bet on that.


First off, promises to try and change and failing to do so is far different from outright lying and making a whole narrative or story up of your life that is entirely based on imaginary things. Far different. When you promise to change, that's your intention and when she lies, deceiving you is her intention. Do you see the difference?


you say you don't know how to perceive the situation. I understand you may feel like you're confused but I think your perception is fine, but you're conflicted. You're conflicted because the truth is, she can't be trusted and she's trying to write off her lies and deception without making amends, without taking responsibility and without even asking forgiveness. When you're wronged, in any way it's expected that the other person, if they truly understand they offended and hurt us, they will not only confess, but be repentant and know they need to earn the trust and forgiveness. In your wife what I see is someone that does not want to change, but does have a hint of guilt for things, only not enough to actually make her want to change, unfortunately. She believes that the confession alone is enough and things should go on as business as usual.

But you naturally are unable to trust her without any kind of action on her part. It's understandable

Please, assess this situation. Do not feel responsible for fixing things. it's on her. if she's not willing to face the fact that this is on her, then I'm not sure things will ever get better. Unfortunately that's not something YOU can change, only she can.