hi there. i hope you're doing well today.

you asked, so i'm going to say what i think. your minister is abusing his authority on several counts. as a minister, he should not be having a relationship with a member, married or not. also, as putting himself is the position of counselling you, he has abused his authority and position. a person is his position (minister and therapist) should not have a relationship of any kind with you, other than in that professional setting.

our minister will not even talk with a woman (young or old) without another person in the room. what he's doing with you in past inappropriate...on many counts. it's considered a form of abuse.

i'm so sorry for your rape (more than i can say in words). then you reach out for help to be further victimized by a person of authority whom you went to for that help. i feel so for you right now. you did nothing wrong here. you reached out for help at a very vulnerable time.

i hope you come back and let us know how things are going on. furthermore, i hope you get help from a professional who truly wants to help you. i would consider seeing a therapist/psychologist...begin there. if you are in the u.s., almost every community has a community mental health center that will help and if you don't have funds, won't charge. if you have good insurance, please find one of your choosing.

i wish alot of things for you right now. i wouldn't say that he's using you, because that then gives you a "responsibility of sorts" in this case. i would definitely say that he's abusing his power and figure of authority with a very vulnerable victim...which is wrong.

be safe, and keep in touch,

kd