You cannot change another person and controlling where he goes, who he hangs with and all that is the behavior of an abusive person, yes. While your reasons for doing these things are all justified, it is never our right as someone's mate to tell us who and what we can do. Ever.

If you tell him he should drink less and you don't like it, that's all acceptable and also telling, if he does not accept this nor wants to comply to your wishes. It says that he has no intention to change. If that is the case, it says a lot about him and your relationship. Not judging you or him, but your socializing methods are different and if neither wants to change to be like the other maybe considering whether this is a relationship to stay in is what you should do.