I cried all the way home on the bus today. I am behind with all my bills, I am going through drug withdrawal and I majorly messed up at work. Thing is a monkey could be trained to do my job and I still manage to make a **** up.
It seems my capacity for self sabotage really is a bottomless pit.
Anytime I screw up, my mind fleetingly considers suicide, like my life really depends on it. I mean no person was harmed but still. I can't quit though, because I have been to every road possible. If I take a day off it just makes it harder to go back.
I have already out stayed my welcome as one of the popular workers took an instant dislike to me.
I can't lose my flat...I just can't
My own fault for being so arrogant, thinking I could work through hard drugs withdrawal.
I have already had to resort to a half way house, in order to secure my own tenancy.
It's a downward spiral for me.
Can't break the cycle.
People in and out of jail, I am destined to be in and out of psyche ward for the rest of my days.