Thanks for caring Leia.

I've figured out the morning nausea is from Gabapentin. The psych meds forum advised me not to discontinue it suddenly. So I am waiting till Friday when I see my pdoc.

I have stopped crying but I am terribly depressed. I have periods where I feel "okay", but I still don't want to get up. I am sort of swinging between "not good, but okay" and "really ****ty".

I decided my pdoc (who is pretty new) might not be aggressive enough to help me feel better. So I did some research and came up with the names of two new pdocs. Neither of them take insurance. I e-mailed one of them and she called me back. She is $375 for the intake and $150 after that for med checks. I asked her if she thought she could help me. She said sure, that Latuda and Seroquel were the best for bipolar. Well, I've had seroquel and it just doped me up. I took Latuda and it did nothing either way. So I am sort of doubting this woman is worth the money. (My current pdoc is free with my insurance.) I have not heard back from the other pdoc but I know he just takes cash also. We can afford the cash but I hate to waste the money.

I feel very hopeless. Friday will be one more depressed and lonely birthday. It never ends.

But a big thanks to all of you who have been so kind.