I started latuda a week ago. I'm going slower on the taper than my pnurse recommended because I was worried about side effects. She had told me to take 20mg the first day, then 40mg for four days, then 60mg from there on out. Instead I took 20mg for a week and started 40mg on Sunday. I will take 40mg for a week and then start 60mg this Sunday. So far, no side effects except insomnia, which was rectified by taking it in the morning instead of evening. I got sick with strep throats last Friday so today was the first day I've been able to eat normally, so for the past four days I have not taken it with 350 calories, but it is what it is.

My mood is good, maybe even slightly elevated. I have not put on my emsam patch in about two weeks, unbeknownst to pnurse. I wanted to see how I did on latuda alone as it has antidepressant properties, and I was worried two antidepressants (even though latuda is not technically an AD) would push me into mania. So far, so good. No depression. As I said, maybe even a slight elevation. I've been showering a lot more frequently and enjoying doing so (even when not depressed I hate showering, such a pain in my ***). Today I stayed home from work with my son who also has strep, and I cleaned four rooms of the house. My son's room hasn't been thoroughly cleaned in over a month and it was a disaster. I made him help me with that. He actually went through all of his toy drawers and organized them, getting rid of puzzles with missing pieces, broken toys, etc. he did a great job. I even washed clothes AND put them all away on the same day! That's a miracle right there. Usually they sit in the basket for a week.

However, I don't feel my thoughts are racing and I don't feel irritable or anxious. I also don't feel impulsive, which is important for this next part.

I have almost 100% decided to change careers. After losing my teaching job, I have been rethinking my place in education. I have come to the conclusion that it's not for me. I love working with teens, but I do not have the right personality for classroom teaching, specifically classroom management. I've tried for five years and though I've gotten better, it's still not where it needs to be. I also don't enjoy all the standards I am held up to in terms of curriculum. I hate "teaching to the test", which is what I'm forced to do. If I were continue in education I would like to work with multiply disabled kids in a special needs school or behavioral kids (not as extreme as my old school though). But those offers just aren't there. I haven't gotten any calls for any interviews. Being nonrenewed is going to hurt any chances I have of staying in education. And my heart is just not in it.

So I've decided to go for my master's in social work and work in the mental health field. It's what I originally wanted to do when I started college. I only did teaching because I thought I'd be able to make more money without getting my master's right away. At the time my priority was getting married and having a baby. I just needed the money to make that happen. Well, I did all that and it didn't work out the way it should have with my husband dying suddenly. Now I'm in a position where finance is not such a concern, because I live with my mom. Obviously I still need to work full time because I have to pay bills, but I can make less for a few years while I finish my master's and still be ok.

I was afraid my therapist would laugh at me and tell me I can't work in mental health because of my own issues, but she said I would be great in mental health and that my experiences would be a benefit. I felt so much better after talking to her. She made me feel like I can really do this. Do something I'll be happy in.

I'm confident this is not an impulsive decision. I think it will be best for me in the long run, as long as I can stay stable. I'm hoping I will. Last time I had a six year remission so hopefully it will be just as long this time.

Wish me luck everyone! Big changes are afoot!

EDIT: apologies for the length. I am quite verbose. Also, title was supposed to read "changes". That's going to drive me crazy lol.