I can understand that feeling of wanting to put trust in someone, but being too afraid

I am also black and have found it hard to understand where certain people don't find black people attractive, it makes me wonder because not all black people look alike, so how would they know that they don't find black people attractive if they haven't seen every single black person?

I believe when it comes to dying alone that we all die alone, there isn't any chaperones in death, it is a comforting thought for me that everyone dies alone, but I don't know if it is for you, but I am just giving you my two cents

I don't really have the words that might be what you want to hear right now, but I believe it's best to keep working on you and the more you learn to live with yourself as you are the more you will find it easier to love and trust someone else