Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
Thanks and I'm sorry for the late reply. I can connect with people easily online but struggle to do so in person.
A big reason why is due to poor social skills. I can appear well spoken when talking to people online but in person, I have had trouble talking to people.
It's weird because I have a strong technical background. I build computers, I have computer hacking knowledge, and I can figure out just about anything technical easily, but expect me to socialize and I outright struggle. Figuring out social queues, proper hand language, figuring out how to say what I'm trying to say without sounding like a complete idiot, knowing when to make eye contact with people and when not to, and not talking too fast, too slow, too loud, or too quietly at the right times are challenges that I've faced most of my life which makes it difficult for me to do basic adult things like finding employment or dating women, all be it one that I have been getting better at.
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Some of those things really come down to a personality thing I have found. For instance, there is a 15yr old here that if you look at him while he talks to you, he swears you are "staring at him". He, himself rarely makes eye contact. Yet, there are others, like me, that want eye contact the whole time we talk. Speed of verbalization seems to be a personal thing too. Some people naturally talk fast. Some naturally talk slow. Sometimes if a person is in a hurry to do something they may speak fast before going to get it done. How loud you are is guided mostly by social rules - ex library = whisper only, movie theater = talk low, concert = shout, grocery store = normal, etc. But some people have naturally loud voices n some naturally quiet too so that plays a factor too.
My point in saying all this is that most of it is neither "right" nor "wrong", it's just part of a person's personality - which is an ever changing thing so no need to be over reactive to it bc you can change the parts you don't like as you figure them out.
I will tell you this though - when you feel you may have missed a cue (unless it has to do with anger or sadness), generally a quick sheepish smile can pull the person back and you can give an explanation or just continue with the conversation.
Sorry if I am putting my nose or advice where you don't neccessarily want it.
❤