I've been in the system for a long time (15 years) and while I have run across plenty of incompetent therapists, I've never had one that was mean, rude, or condescending. However I may be in the minority. A good therapist will let you take the lead, but also prod you along when necessary. You will not be forced to talk about your trauma, however you will be encouraged to eventually. A good therapist wouldn't expect you to feel comfortable talking about trauma right away.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you don't like him/her, you don't have to go back. Give it a fair trial but you don't have to keep going if it's not working out.