When it comes down to it..I feel ashamed to ask for help..maybe that's an aftereffect of an emotionally neglected upbringing, low self esteem, and consistent failures in my relationships with others. I can count on one hand the people that are willing to help, but they have their own battles to fight, and I can't put that on them.
In the end, I just jam yet another rock in my ruck, because the hits just keep on coming, and I have quite literally no choice but to try to address the critical functions of trying to find work and a place to sleep at night.