emptynightmare, thanks for sharing. You've hit the nail on the head in several ways.

I think there is some sort of dysphoria occurring when I indulge. When I'm in adult mode I constantly want to be young and feel that my physical form doesn't match; when I'm in child mode, I'm not so much repulsed from that part of me, instead I'm repulsed from how I feel after.

I think you're correct in that my younger side needs to be nurtured, however I don't feel like indulging that side of me is going to make me feel less guilty; It's when I'm indulging that side that I feel guilty in the first place.

What I mean by involving my family is having them know about this at all. I've taken great efforts in the past to distance myself from anything childish in hopes that I won't be connected with those things in their view.

It's nice to know, however, that there are other people out there like me who aren't fetishists, and that at least you don't think it's super abnormal.

Also if anything doesn't make sense in this post, sorry. That's just how I get when I get self analytical